It is easy to lose yourself in the vortex of social media and get trapped in the vicious cycle of seeking external validation. The habit of relying on other people’s opinions over social media is toxic, especially when attaching your self-worth to social views.
If you find yourself with a dent in your self-esteem and confidence due to lack of approval on social media or from people around you, allow us to shed some light on ways you can self-validate from within.
While our survival instincts indicate that we should aim at living a self-sufficient life, human beings are social creatures that need love and affection to live their best lives. Our likeability index determines how we are perceived by others and the place we hold in their lives.
People Pleasing and Imposter Syndrome
Some of us thrive on social approval and, as a result, adopt people-pleasing habits. In doing so, we tend to compromise our authenticity and genuineness. While being loved by people and having a good social life are essential, being overly accommodating can induce imposter syndrome and make you feel like a fraud.
Social Isolation and Dejection
On the other hand, people who tend not to socialize or find themselves excluded or isolated from a social gathering can feel overwhelming emotions of melancholy. This can lead to low morale, self-doubt and pave the way to desperate attention-seeking behavior, which can cause embarrassment.
Our insecurities make us human. Leading a life with unrealistic goals and expectations can make one question their self-worth. As social beings, it is natural to seek approval from others. If we trace our origins and go by historical data, society’s acceptance plays a decisive role in our survival.
Irrespective of the group you are a part of in high school or college, your circle of friends secures your social position. It means you don’t have to endure and face the hardships all by yourself. Also, let us not forget that being appreciated and validated hits us directly in the reward center in our brains.
Being accepted, validated, and appreciated by others plays a crucial role in our development. However, when other’s opinion of you starts overpowering you and hampers your daily life, it becomes a cause for concern.
Intention and Intuition
Seeking validation from toxic relationships or co-workers in competitive situations is what wrecks our self-respect. The problem lies in the place and the people that we seek validation from.
Let us look at a harmless sentence that can cause us to spiral and dwindles our self-worth. When a person compliments you by telling you how pretty you are and that it is sad that you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, they are essentially nurturing your belief that your worth and value are associated with whether or not you are in a relationship.
It is natural to skip your step when you are in a relationship or when someone compliments you. However, the need for validation turns problematic when you attach your self-worth and image to the approval of others.
For example, if you only consider yourself desirable when others find you attractive, your validation needs turn into toxic behavior. Instead of accepting yourself for who you are, you start evaluating yourself based on the people that approve of you.
So how does one control the urge to seek approval from others and satiate one’s needs of being liked? Let us look at three ways you can practice self-love and validate yourself from within.
Believe in Yourself
If someone attacks your self-worth because of their jealousy or insecurities or simply because they are mean-spirited, it can’t get to you until a small part inside you agrees with their remarks.
Our natural tendency when attacked is to seek external support so others can defend us. However, it is essential to remember that you are your best friend. You need to trust yourself and believe in your true worth.
It would be excellent to address your insecurities and work towards body acceptance if you suffer from body issues. Once you foster a trusting relationship with yourself, you can find self-validation from within. It reduces one’s likelihood of seeking external validation.
Own Your Individuality
The worst thing we can do when suffering from self-doubt is comparing ourselves to others. When making comparisons, we often forget to consider our individuality and start treating our uniqueness as a problem that needs fixing.
It is crucial to acknowledge what makes you different from others. Your USP is your self-awareness and confidence. Once we know our true worth and what ails us, the road to recovery and stability gets easier.
Social Media: Reality In Disguise
Social media made its way into our lives as a convenient way to stay connected with our friends and family. It served as a platform where various services could be offered and availed. For content curators and influencers, social media enabled immense reach and engagement with their target audience.
However fascinating the world of social media may appear, the reality remains unchanged: It isn’t real. It presents a distorted view of reality and nurtures unrealistic expectations in people, especially the impressionable crowd.
Social media is how we behave when our relatives are visiting- we present our best foot forward so mom can show off how well behaved her children are. However pleasant it may appear, it gives a distorted sense of reality.
When using social media, it is crucial not to let it get to your head and use it for entertainment or educational purposes. Post a picture because you want to, not so your followers can shower you with likes inflating your ego and flattery.
